Sharing the invisible to-do list
Make the thinking visible, then share ownership.
Name the invisible jobs
Much of family work is thinking rather than doing: noticing the school form, remembering the vaccination, knowing when the nappies will run out. Start by writing those jobs down, together, without judging who has been doing what.
Share whole tasks
Handing over a step ("can you buy the present?") still leaves someone else holding the planning. Try handing over the whole task, from noticing to finishing, and agree on what “done” looks like.
Check in, briefly
A ten-minute weekly check-in keeps the list current. Look at the week ahead, swap anything that no longer works and choose one thing to drop.
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